What is the most that can happen?

Today, I pulled the Three of Pentacles.

Building, collaboration, working together.

Relying on others, being relied on.

Responsibility. Effort. Foundations.

Maybe even redecorating.

This is what this card speaks to.

I was not happy when I pulled it. More work? I’m fucking exhausted, physically and emotionally. This has been a very challenging year for me and most people in my life. And there is still a long way to go.

You can see the figures in this card are merely at the beginning stages of laying their plans. It’s like when the contractor comes to your house and explains everything they're going to change, how much it’s going to cost, and how long it’s going to take.

It’s the card of the architect, which means it’s also about being the architect of your own life.

How long is it going to take, and how much is it going to cost?

That might be the question that haunts me—the road is long, and I am weary. I have experienced so much loss this year. It has preoccupied me and kept me up at night for six months now.

But the tide shifted for me this week; something unlocked, and I feel a renewed sense of momentum and hope. My cynicism has quieted, and the way forward is opening. I feel a clearing-out and clarity of mind that is giving space—space I didn’t have before—to invest back into myself.

I fucking want it. What is “it”? Everything, maybe.

In my meditation school, we often ask of a situation or circumstance, “What is the most that can happen here?,” as in, what is the most incredible thing or greatest good that can come out of the situation?

It’s hopeful, but more importantly, it opens doors for possibility.

Until now, I hadn’t noticed this card is about possibility. It holds a whisper of the future. What you start planting right now will inevitably sprout, if you stay the course. Planning, planting, plotting.

It’s a card of vision.

We cannot see the future. I believe it’s unwritten. Circumstances can shift. What is true in the morning may not be true in the evening.

Yet, I also think of Arwen saying to Elrond, “Some things are certain,” after her vision of her future life.

There is free will and choice that shift our timelines, and a single decision can put us on an entirely new trajectory.

Elrond: “I looked into your future, and I saw death.”

Arwen: “But there is also life.”

Elrond: “That future is almost gone.”

Arwen: “But it is not lost.”

Elrond: “Nothing is certain.”

Arwen: “Some things are certain.”

She decides to choose death (and also life), and that vision, that moment, that decision changes the timeline for everyone and for the fate of the world, although it was such a personal decision. (This was a nice LOTR moment, wasn’t it?)

Okay, Three of Pentacles. I see you. You see me. My timeline feels like a loaded gun. Pregnant. Ripe. Heavy. Full. Ready. Like anything can happen.

Time to get to work.